Yesterday was Bell Let’s Talk day in Canada and while I burnt my retinas sending over 1200 tweets in roughly 15 hours, aside from the time I spent in Twitter jail (there’s a tweet limit per hour, per day, which I didn’t know), I got to thinking. There was a time, not too long ago, where I would give anything to feel even an ounce of joy again. I was in a dark place, where the thought of optimism seemed like a pipe dream. About a year later, I find myself the happiest I have been in a long time. I realize that this does not happen overnight. It does not happen in day, a week, or a month, and often it takes longer than a year. In order to get to a place where you are ready to accept happiness into your life you need to do a few things first. This way, when you get happy, you stay happy. After reading this post on one of my favourite blogs by Free People, I decided I wanted to share my own tips on how to get back on your feet, and prepare yourself for the journey ahead.
1. Remember that every day won’t be a good one. No matter how positive or optimistic you are, you will have bad days. Something as simple as a bad dream can cause a bad day. Just because you have a bad day, doesn’t mean you’ll have a bad week, or a bad life. It simply means that life has handed you the opportunity to feel the pain and sadness so that you can appreciate the good days even more.
2. Find support. When I finally had the courage to reach for support I suddenly felt weightless. I am not a dependant person, but sometimes, you need someone to hold your hand, hear your story, or help you carry your baggage. This does not make you weak, but strong, because nothing is harder than saying you need someone.
3. Understand that good things take time. To recover from one breakup it took me over a year, and even now, I still have my ups and downs. It took time to get to where I am. The same goes for anyone who wants to reach that happy place. It takes time, but it is so worth it.
4. Learn to be alone. One of the most satisfying lessons I learned was how to be alone. Take a vacation by yourself. Stay in one night and just treat yourself. Dedicate a little bit of time whenever you can to be alone. You learn so much about yourself, and realize that you can make yourself happy.
5. Accept who you are, “flaws” and all. I say “flaws” because whatever you may think your flaws are, they aren’t flaws. They are characteristics that make you the amazing, incredible, person you are. I used to think my mental illnesses were my flaws. I also used to think my “thunder thighs” were flaws too. I realize now that if I didn’t have those “flaws” I would be missing pieces of my puzzle. Once I accepted every bit of me, I was one step further to a happier me, and a happier life.
6. Read. This ones fairly self-explanatory. Seriously, read. Whether it is a biography, fiction, or even a textbook. Pick a book that interests you and read it, learn from it, but most of all, enjoy it. You will learn something, and no matter what that is, it will help you in some shape or form.
7. Start living in the moment. This is tough. One of the toughest tips to put to practice. I have spent a lot of my life worrying. Worrying about what might be. Looking back, in all that time I spent worrying about what may or may not happen, I missed out on so many moments that were happening in the now. Force yourself to let go of the past and the present, and embrace the moments that are surrounding you this very moment.
8. Do something good. Help an old lady cross the street, buy some girl guide cookies, or volunteer your time at a shelter. Doing something good will do three things, it will remind you of the difference you can make, it will give you a purpose, and you may discover your passion. It was this very step that helped me realize what I wanted to do with my life. Don’t skip it.
9. Jump in feet first. Don’t wade into the water, but don’t dive in head first either. It’s okay to think before you do, but taking a risk every once in a while is worth it.
10. Turn your vulnerability into your strength. This is by far the toughest step. And something that can only be done when you’re ready. For me, my vulnerability was my mental health. So, I shared that vulnerability with the world. I wrote about it, and talked about it, until eventually, people saw my weakness as my strength. Then that became how I saw it. When you look at your weakness as a strength, it is no longer a source of sadness, but becomes a source of happiness.
Each one of these tips take work, they take time, and they take commitment, but take it from me, each one is worth it. As I worked through each one of these steps, I got closer and closer to being happy again. And then nothing can stop you.
– Kenzie
Beautifully Disheveled 